Only Ever Now

My husband and I joined some friends at an "Introduction to Meditation" workshop this weekend at Yoga Soleil.  It is the coolest studio in an old building, just a few feet from a busy railroad track.  There is charm galore.

We have been learning in more depth about meditation practices in the last few years, and our friends are interested in it as well.  So we decided to support them on the journey and go with them.  I was looking forward to it for two reasons:  quiet time to be with adults, and to learn more about personal meditation.  Meditation is a relatively new practice for me, and I have only experienced guided meditation in a group setting, or devotional yogic chanting meditation called kirtan.  Both forms have been so beneficial to my spiritual growth and to finding the strength to really dig deep in my quest for the beauty I deserve.  I would like to start a personal, daily meditation, but I don't know how.

While I already was familiar with much of what was taught from the theoretical standpoint, it was beneficial for me to be deliberately taught various techniques of how to do it on my own.  I encourage everyone to learn about meditation and what it can do for the soul.  I can honestly say I will never be the same.

One thing the teacher said really resonated with me.  She said to look at your watch...what time is it?  It is only ever now.  That sounds corny, but when I thought about it for a while it started to really connect to my current journey.  When my monkey-brain refuses to settle down, I get frustrated.  In basic meditation, you focus on your breath and where you feel it.  I chant "In....out...in...out" as I focus on the sensation.  Suddenly, my brain goes to the fifty other things I need to make sure happen this week.  The key to living in the NOW and being fully conscious is when you recognize that your monkey-brain is at work, and bring it back around to focus on the feeling of breathing.

It is a peaceful feeling to recognize that all I can do is NOW.  All I can control is NOW.  I have the strength for NOW.  Tomorrow will come in due course, and yesterday is over.  This evening will come whether I want it to or not.  I want to love and enjoy the beauty in my home NOW.  If I focus on the messes I have yet to sort out, I am denying myself the beauty that is already present.  It is important to plan and have focus for the future, but the practice of living needs to be NOW.  I can clean just this one box in front of me, it's not that big.  The whole room is too big and scary, all of the work I have to do in the other areas of my life is frightening, but this one box directly in front of me is something I can do.

It is only ever now.  Conscious existence can only happen in the moment.  Being fully present can only happen if I pay attention to that monkey-brain and lovingly corral that sucker when it runs away.

I deserve BEAUTY in my life!