Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Conscious Living

The phone rang.  I got up to get it.  When I returned to the living room, I had no idea where the remote was. Turns out I had taken it to the kitchen with me and didn't even remember.

I pulled into the garage.  I got out of my car.  I came in the house. Next time I needed to go somewhere I have no idea where my keys and/or purse are.

I am at my desk working.  I look down and see two empty boxes of Wheat Thins and have no clue where they went.

In my attempt to welcome beauty into my life, I recognize a need for consciously becoming a part of my own life again.  There are so many things that I do without even thinking or realizing it.

I don't know where my mind (or spirit) goes, but I do know that I am not consciously present much of the time.  How else does my house seemingly fall into disarray around me unless I feel I am so undeserving of a beautiful home that I must sabotage it, and disappear in shame when my sabotage succeeds?

The belief that "I'm just lazy" no longer serves me.  If I am consciously aware of my body at all times, I will know where I put my keys...or better yet, I will be aware that they are in my hand and I need to put them on the hook.  It really isn't a matter of laziness, because I walk by the hook with the keys in my hand to turn off the alarm.  I'm right there, but for some inexplicable reason I am unconscious of my keys.

Living consciously is exhausting.  Deliberately reminding myself to breathe deep and really feel my physical presence is a strange habit to be fostering.  Until I started making myself be aware of it, I hadn't realized how often I all but stop breathing during the day.

For now, I still anticipate losing my keys on a regular basis, and hunting for the remote that is still in my hand.  The best I can do is work towards the goal of being fully aware of my body at all times.  Small steps, right?

The more I become aware of my own physical presence, the more straightforward it will be to allow and retain beauty in my life.  I can only imagine the amount of deserved beauty and bounty awaiting discovery through heightened awareness!

I deserve BEAUTY in my life!

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