Thursday, February 14, 2013

Look How Beautiful I Am Today!

My 5-year-old daughter came downstairs and announced, "Look how beautiful I am today!"  She was wearing a t-shirt, pink shorts, knee high socks and shiny boots.  It was all topped off with a purple hoodie and some sunglasses.  In February.

She is beautiful.  Every day.  She is not shy about declaring her feelings and taking full ownership of her own beauty, but she is so genuine that I have no fear of vanity.  She doesn't go crazy, but she is not going to hold back if she feels beautiful.

I pray that this honest and pure feeling of personal beauty never fades.

What about my own personal beauty?  I spend so much time loathing my outward appearance, it is bound to influence her.  I am the predominant female in her life, and the behavior I model for her is to look in the mirror with disdain.  What am I modeling for my son about how the woman he loves should perceive of herself?

I am thinking today about the need to start trying to look in the mirror with different purpose.  I need to start declaring, "Look how beautiful I am today!" every morning.  If I don't like what I see, I am the only person with the power to change it.  I am the beauty I deserve.  Perhaps if this becomes a part of my self-talk regimen, I will eventually believe it on a deeper level.  I deserve to see and feel the beauty on the inside for myself.

My eyes will be where I will start.  I have always liked my eyes.  They are dark brown, large and bright, and an anomaly on both sides of my family.  Neither of my children inherited them, either.  I will focus on my eyes, the aspect of my body that I can most readily accept as beautiful.  Look how beautiful my eyes are today!  After this becomes habit, I think I will move on to another part of me that I can accept with little resistance.

Eventually I will change my skin-care regimen, because I know I have been blessed with smooth and soft skin...which I have allowed to fall into disrepair.   This is going to be a long process, an uphill battle against a deeply ingrained habit of disrespect for my physical being.  But I earnestly believe I am worth it.  My outsides deserve the same care as my insides.

I deserve BEAUTY in my life!

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